Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
this is an emotional support booty call
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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