Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
