One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
