remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
