if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
