My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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