Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
