I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
