Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
