Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
wow bdsm is so cute
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
