I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
not ubering you a puppy
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
