i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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