I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's shark week go big or go home
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize