I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize