We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
