Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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