counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
