Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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