Christians are straight up FREAKS
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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