I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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