Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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