You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
