I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
