Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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