dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
