The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
