That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
