Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
