Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
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