what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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