I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
