Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What a dumb baby whore.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
