we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My penis needs a shock collar
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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