I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
