A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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