yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just pee around me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize