it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize