your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
