two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
