It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
