If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
