he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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