life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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