i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
