weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just googled if crying burns calories
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
