Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize