i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
