so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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