She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
