Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
