ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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