I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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