my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
