Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
if only i could text you this smell
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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