from now on my penis is your penis
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Randomize
