I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
