i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize