I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
