Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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